Identity
Today has been organised perfectly. Bag was packed. Arrangements made for the cat. And my train ticket was bought weeks ago. Meaning I could take advantage of the super-saver advanced single. £8. Which is as much as I want to pay to travel to fucking Crewe.
I felt quite quite smug as I got to Euston with all the premium-paying passengers. Less so when the self-service machine asked me for a card that I lost last weekend. So, I walked up to the service desk.
“hello, I bought a ticket but haven’t got my card on me so can’t use the machine.”
“ok, have you got your booking reference?”
“yeah, I’ve got my email on my phone - RFX8J20Z”
“right…keith foggan”
“that’s right”
“have you got any ID?”
“ID?”
“passport or driving license, with a photo on to prove it is you”
“I’ve got my work pass”
“I can’t take that, has to be a passport or driving license”
“are you saying I stole this man’s wallet and phone, found the confirmation email for a one-way ticket on a 3 hour slow train to Crewe, and thought that was an opportunity not to be missed?”
“no, but I need proper ID.”
“he looks a lot like me don’t you think?”
“that’s a work pass though.”
“I wonder what he does”
“I am going to have to sell you a full-fare single”
“I don’t fancy your chances”
I am now sat on the train armed with a booking reference and what I think is a pretty solid argument. The woman opposite me has an unfeasibly large packet of crisps and a swallow tattoo on her forearm. I am assuming this is the return leg of her journey.
